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Photos by Andy Andersen - Chubbies Friday At Five Photos by Andy Andersen

Win every Ugly Christmas Sweater Competition ever

By: Grant Marek

December is here, which means holiday party season is on like Genghis Khan, and if you're looking for 14th-century Mongol ruler status (YOU ARE) you're gonna need one thing and one thing only: a flaming molten lava hot ugly Christmas sweater.

Well, consider us your Supervolcano because we just spit out EIGHT of those below, all of which we DIY-ed with a plain $5 sweater from Target and some good old fashioned MacGyvering.

Get ready to make this the year you become the hero your holiday party deserves and needs.

The Human Christmas Tree

What you need: $5 sweater, ornaments, ornament hooks

How to DIY: Put hooks on ornaments. Put ornaments on sweater. Houshmandzadeh.


The Gift Wrapper

What you need: Wrapping paper, duct tape, scissors

How to DIY: Think of a sweater, now make that, but with wrapping paper and duct tape.


The Sexy Snowflake

What you need: $5 sweater, scissors

How to DIY: Fold your sweater in half horizontally, then in half vertically, then diagonally, then cut a bunch of shapes out of each side of the pie, unfold, enjoy.


The Iron On, Man

What you need: $5 sweater, iron-on transfer paper, an iron, an awesome picture of Santa being pulled by a sleigh of cats

How to DIY: Print out your awesome picture on the iron-on transfer paper, then read the transfer paper instructions and do whatever they say.


The Pirate Santa

What you need: $5 sweater, tissue paper, duct tape, an X-Acto knife

How to DIY: Make a sheet of duct tape, X-Acto knife out something awesome, peel up that awesome thing you cut out and put it on the front of your sweater, add accordian folded tissue paper until it looks like Seinfeld's puffy shirt.


The Human Menorah

What you need: $5 sweater, duct tape, menorah candles

How to DIY: Create four duct tape-based candle holders on each arm, insert candles, light them, then try not to burn anything/yourself down.


The Ugly Cupholder

What you need: $5 sweater, koozies, beer, glue gun

How to DIY: Glue gun a bunch of koozies to your $5 sweater. Insert beer. Drink beer.


The Ninja Turtle

What you need: $5 sweater, tissue paper, Sharpie, duct tape

How to DIY: Make a large oval out of a white tissue paper, Sharpie some ab lines on it, then create belt, arm bands with duct tape. Face mask optional (hahahaha yeah right). Oh and to be clear, this isn't technically an ugly Christmas sweater. But, to be EVEN CLEARER, it will still win you any ugly X-mas sweater competition.


Please send any ugly Christmas sweater contest winnings and/or pics to us at Chubbies HQ. (Especially if you do the Ninja Turtle one.)