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Main image/GIFs via Tarzan Boat - Chubbies Friday At Five Main image/GIFs via Tarzan Boat

This Is The Greatest Boat That Has Ever Existed

By: Grant Marek

WIth apologies to Boaty McBoatface, THIS is actually the greatest boat that has ever existed:

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The Tarzan Boat (also known as The Jungle Float) is essentially a floating waterpark -- a 12' by 34' pontoon that can entertain up to 40 people at a time with:

1) a 6ft diving platform

2) a 12ft diving platform

3A) a rope swing that you can use for ROPE SWING BEER PONG

3B) a military-grade poly cargo net you can swap in if you don't wanna play ROPE SWING BEER PONG

4) a small trampoline

5) an Olympic-grade trampoline that launches you as high as 20ft in the air

6) a twisty tube slide

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So where can you find this glorious island o' fun?

Well, there are actually a few public ones throughout the South and the Pacific Northwest, or you can buy your own if you've got $63K lying around.

Or you could just go buy 1,000+ new pairs of dope swim trunks.