New Popular MYSTERY
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New Best Sport Ever: Barbie Jeep Racing

By: Grant Marek

If you were anything like me growing up, you asked your parents for the same thing for Christmas for, like, a decade straight: A plastic Fisher-Price Power Wheels.

Which should make this little news story hashtag-important: Not only is there now a good reason for you to get yourself one, but that reason could earn you $1,500 cash.

*Freeze frame*

*Record scratch*

Introducing: The Barbie Jeep Downhill Race, an event that's held twice annually (including this March) in Saint Jo, Texas, where adults get into plastic jeeps designed for 3-5 year olds and race 'em down what's affectionately referred to as "Barbie Jeep Mountain."

Oh, and by "race" we mean "aggressively and painfully crash" because the cars are only designed to hold 130lbs of weight and are thus pretty much guaranteed to 1) not steer correctly/at all, and 2) break almost immediately, like so:

So how does the race work exactly? Well, first there are a few requirements:

- You first need to purchase an admission ticket to the larger off-roading festival that hosts the Barbie Jeep race

- You need to wear a helmet

- You need to be 18 or older

- You need to BYO Power Wheels car (it doesn't have to be Barbie's Jammin Jeep Wrangler, but honestly it probably should be)

OK, check, check, check, and check... now what?

Well, now you race.

barbiegif.gif

You'll compete in three timed runs, and you'll need to finish every one of them -- if you crash you can pick up the biggest part of what's left of your car and run or crawl across the finish line. Once they've got a list of finishers and times, the person with the lowest cumulative time from the three runs wins.

The cash payout this year is $1,500 and there may or may not (but definitely SHOULD BE) be a trophy for a crowd-voted most Most Epic crash.

Godspeed.